Confession

Hi, I'm 21 years old girl. Straight. Just got my BA degree in French Studies from Universitas Indonesia, the wildest intellectual playground in my country. I passed all of the subject in uni and achieve all the 144 credits only in 3.5 years. My GPA is upon 3, not in the top of the class.

Here in my country, when a girl hits 20 people start asking when you'll getting married. People refers to friends and relatives. They usually start by questioning about your boyfriend. To make you clear, I already hit 20 but I have no boyfriend. I'm straight. I have a crush in uni but they're nothing more than just a fresh meat to catch. The thing is, I always get excited when it comes to flirting but when I really got this fresh meat he's no longer got my issue. Point number one, I always want to go after something but when I get that thing, that's just it.

Second. As I'm straight I'm going to end up with a man, no? How can I end up with one of them if I already labelled them as the second gender? Yes, welcome to my world where women is the first (and maybe the one and only) gender. I'm sorry but I don't know how to put it delicately. I mean, men are careless, lazy ass, some of them are not so much clever, etc etc. They even incompetent in doing group work. Please, people. Clearly, for me, they CAN'T do anything but failing around. 

And what the society told me is gays are everywhere. Watch out, ladies! 

So, what's the point ending up with someone whose intellectually or mannerly below me? I wonder if only God is all powerful, He'd sent me a man who will never ever fail me and humiliate me and himself in the rest of this very short life.

I wanna tell my mother that I'm sorry not to put the wedding plan on my A-to do-list, I don't even know whether I have one. I know every mother must be eager to see their own daughter wedding but sorry mom, it won't happen very soon. I want to have my master degree, then my Ph.D, my career, my car, my flat, my branded bags, shoes, and cosmetics. ALL is mine. Just so I'm not sound so selfish maybe I can put this, I hope to find a miracle (red: man who won't fail me and humiliate himself and me in the rest of this very short life) when I enroll as a master student in Europe. That's all I want, dear God. If only you're reading my blog.

I don't know why I end up posting this kind of settling down thing instead of my graduation photos at the first place. But all I want to say is ONE DOESN'T SIMPLY GETTING MARRIED. You got me crystal clear, k?

-S

How Do You Handle This?

How can you get any attention from someone whom you just met once whilst you live in a totally different world?

So, there is one man who takes over for the most part of my daydream. He's really got the package. Brain, behavior, and beauty. But the one and only problem I got here is, him and I live in a totally different world. He's no longer a student, quite out of reach actually. I don't know where he works. I don't have his number or even his BB's pin. The only one source I could use to (occasionally) stalk him is his Facebook account. He has no twitter, no multiply, nothing. Bet he has a very interesting real life out there.

I want him. I am falling for him. He's the 2nd guy, after that friend whom I always have a crush on, I want to tie the knot with. May Thee give me a chance to meet that guy and know that guy better. May Thee give me a ticket to travel to that guy's world and stay. Amen.

sketch by Inslee Haynes

-S

The Best "Goodie Bag" Ever

Saya masih ingat benar, kali pertama saya memakai Jaket Kuning, jaket alma mater Universitas Indonesia. Hari itu saya menjadi bagian dari paduan suara mahasiswa terbesar yang dimiliki Universitas Indonesia atau bahkan mungkin yang dimiliki Indonesia. Saya beserta ribuan mahasiswa baru Universitas Indonesia angkatan 2008 berkumpul di Balairung untuk menyanyikan Gaudeamus Igitur dan beberapa lagu lain untuk kakak-kakak wisudawan & wisudawati.

Saya merinding. Betul. Such an honor to be with the best (and terribly lucky) students in the country in a huge choir. Sorry if that sounds cliche and wonker. Yeah. Totally.

That day, I imagined I was one of the leavers. Wear toga. Sit in the first two rows, where the cum laude students sit. I always dream it until a year ago. But as the subjects pass, I realize that is not that easy to sit in those rows. I didn't make it as a cum laude, but at least my GPA and my non-academic activities went quite well. ;)

Today is my uni 62nd birthday. I don't give 'em a present, but vice versa. My uni give me the best "goodie bag" every students ever wanted. That's not really a goodie bag, you know, that's just a parable. So, at 3 pm today (if I'm not mistaken), at RTC UI with its adorable Kolegas, I opened this well known student website called SIAK NG to check whether my academic status has already changed or not yet (yes, I'm waiting for my graduation lately). And here what I got:

HOORAY! My academic status finally changed. That was the goodie bag. Well, I don't know if my uni even held the birthday bash because I'm not invited but the most important thing is I got the best "goodie bag" ever.

It's like, OMG I need to struggle for 7 terms, achieving 144 credits, passing 46 subject with 92 exams, and collecting zillions deadly assignments to finally could walk down the aisle. Nah. To finally could get to Balairung. I was like happy, sad, proud at the same time. Oh, I'd like to congratulate my friends who made it too: Adek Impianna, Ajeng Ayu, Audi Pratama, Nindia Satiman, Wanda Widya, and Annisa Purbandari.

Since we all know that SIAK NG's server is bad oftentimes -and frustrate almost all of UI students-, I finally bump in to time when I adore SIAK NG. That time will come when your academic status changed, from "active" to "graduated".

Et aussi, je veux remercier mes professeurs pour toutes les lecons qu'ils m'ont donne. Je suis peut-etre une fille moyenne en classe mais je ne vais pas simplement oublier ce que vous m'avez enseigne, dans la classe ou bien en dehors. 

-S